A Disjointed Catch Up

I can't help but notice that my lack of blogging seems to stem from just after Gene & I broke up last year. It's almost as if when we broke up I couldn't find any words to write. No way of really saying what I thought and I really didn't feel a need to share how I felt as frankly that would have been boring.

So almost a year on I guess I'm still trying to find myself. Not so much remember what it's like to be single, but discover my independence and learn to enjoy it.

Okay, random burst of self-reflection over (phew!).

Let's just say that there wasn't a great deal of reading in May & June... Combined reading list for those months include:
1. The Dragon Queen
2. Pardon My French
3. Growing Up Asian in Australia

If only event management plans counted in the list... but as thick as some of them were, they're not quite books.

June consisted of many weekend trips from Brisbane to Melbourne & Sydney. Visiting family, farewelling friends and celebrating a birthday. It's a good thing I don't mind flying really. After the last weekend away the Festival really started to ramp up production. Defintely my favourite part that's not the actual Festival.

July saw the start of the Festival. We worked hard, we played hard. There were many opening nights and closing nights celebrated. It was good. Was lucky enough to see some shows which was rather novel. It was all over in a haze of beer, gin & wine and before we knew it we were bare-foot bowling on a beautiful sunny August day.

It would be hard to believe that only a fortnight ago I was sitting in the sun watching people bowl... except that I landed back in Melbourne on Saturday. It was not sunny. Luckily it wasn't too cold either. I keep telling myself that it's "the same temperature as Brisbane at night... but brighter".

Right now I'm in Sydney enjoying the sunshine and 20˚C days... well I was, it's supposed to storm tomorrow. Still trying to work out what I'll do tomorrow... am thinking it could be a good day for a museum or possibly the aquarium. I may yet fit an antique fair in.

I must admit I'm in a bit of a strange mood tonight. It's been a bit of a odd day. I woke up with a migraine and feeling a bit out of sorts. Did a bit of shopping. Had a nap. Woke up when my phone rang. It was Dad. My grandma in Singapore has stage 4 cancer. I pondered the fact that my Mum's family has had and excellent health history until now when both my Mum & Grandma have cancer. I'm starting to think that my random (morbid) thought that I'll die in the water is possibly incorrect and that it's more likely to be cancer. Strangely I'd rather the water but I'm trying not to dwell on that as I don't particularly want to die at this point in time. When I get bad news that I can't do anything about I turn to depressing music to soothe my woes. So after a good hour of depressing tunes I headed out to have cocktails with a few friends. Dinner followed the cocktails (although perhaps it should have been the other way around) and I must say I'm in a much better mood having gone out.

So to summarise... I had a fabulous time in Brisbane and miss the lifestyle up there although it's still not really my city. Am restless, reflective and honestly I think I'm a little angry with myself. Akrasia, what can I say? Do better. Rocks. Anyhow, no point dwelling on that, just have to keep moving forward. Right?

Less disjointed post next time, I promise.

Life Lessons in Scrabble

Today was a very domestic day. Clean-Up-Sarah's-Act Day. Well, clean up my room & bathroom anyhow.

Three loads of laundry (I actually bothered to sort out my clothes into coloured and dark) and I was well on my way. Several boxes of books have been unpacked and others removed from the bookshelf and packed into boxes in a [moving] deckchairs-on-the-Titanic-esque manner. After slipping in the bathroom while mopping the floor and hitting my head on a shelf while dusting I decided to retreat to the safety of the bedroom. After a few hours I was happy to rediscover my floor under the myriad of boxes I headed downstairs for dinner.
THUD
What was that? Mum askes.
I wander upstairs having quipped that it was probably my bookshelf.
Turns out it was my bookshelf.

I may have gotten a little upset. Just a little.

The floor had disappeared under a mound of books that had also dismantled my clothes rack.
Just a little upset.

Three hours later and I had reclaimed the floor, fixed the rack and precariously stacked the books on the chest of drawers. I needed a break from the domesticity.

Clearly a game of Scrabble was in order.

Dad & I had bought Mum the Deluxe Scrabble board for her birthday.

The christening game reminded me of a valuable lesson. Greed is not good. I could have finished the game but decided to hold out by one more move in order to score more points. If I'd put the original word on the board I would have won. Instead Dad took line honours for tonight's game. Ah well, there's always tomorrow. Anyway, I have a floor. I need not for winning Scrabble.

Middle Ground

One down, one to go.

The Opening Ceremony went well despite the inclement weather. It rained for much of the day of the show and proceeded to drizzle and rain through most of the night. The show still looked amazing from the few parts that I was able to watch. Nura looked amazing on the huge LED screen and the fireworks, well they were pretty too! Photos from the night are mainly centred around City of the Future because that's when I was on the field. Nick took some great shots of the final fireworks display. There's going to be the usual trading of pictures among workmates and I'll be sure to bring them all home.

I was lucky enough to work the first overnight shift of the bump-out (transition to sport) which we were expecting to get rather wet in the rain. We were not surprised to find this the case. What did surprise us was the golf-ball sized hail that fell in the wee hours of the morning. Talk about random desert weather! We've officially seen it all in terms of weather in Doha. From extreme heat to ice. What can I say? That's Doha for you.

After leaving work in the morning I headed back to work that night and was happy to find it no longer raining. The temperature however had dropped to a cool 16˚C. I was very grateful at having left my QR55 100% PVC Matrix-esque jacket at work from the night before.

That was yesterday morning I think. Today I've been given a luxurious day off and I'm struggling a little. After all I've had a decent amount of sleep albeit at the wrong end of the day. I'm moving back into a slightly more day-oriented shift now. My brain has no idea what to do with itself.

The day started with the sound of running water. By running water I mean gushing water. The pipe to the bidet downstairs had burst and the downstairs bathroom had started to flood into the stairwell and was making a good effort towards the front door. Gene got up and helped me move the beer out of the water flow and then the cleaners and maintenance guys came and fixed the pipe. I knew it was going to be a good day. So far so good. A bit of shopping for tomorrow and a quiet evening at home hanging out with Nick. It's just like being in Melbourne only not.

Tomorrow's looking to be a pretty good day too. Lisa & Dave have given me a half day and then there's the party at Bayti which has proved an excellent night in the past. I doubt the party will help me reset my body clock but at least it will be fun! I'm baking cookies to bring as promised in the wee hours of the transition.

I doubt I'll recognise the stadium tomorrow when I get into work. There will be grass there. Crazy sporting event. In fact, I doubt I'll be allowed near the stadium during the sports so it'll be a good day of paperwork.

My willpower is a little lacking today. I think I'll have a quick nap before Nick arrives to hang out.

Foilled! Or saved depending on which way you look at it. Nick's here so I'm going to run off and be sociable.

Argh. I repeat - Argh.

Keep meaning to post but have a feeling this won't be happening much in the next thirty or so days...

Monday's news:
- iPod finally arrived. YAY! Music all synchronised and have tried all the games. Podcasts are my bedtime stories.

Tuesday's news:
I never thought I'd be so excited about PPE (personal protective equipment for those with more normal jobs) - Gene Hedley

Our brand new Petzl hard hats arrived. Red so that they go faster?

Mail from Melbourne arrived as well. Mainly bills for me. *sigh*

Wednesday's news:
Started handwriting first 300 or so words of novel. Doubt it's going to get far but I think I'm doing better than last year already. Will remember to bring laptop home tonight instead of locking it up at work. Still loving my iPod. V. Busy.

Thursday's news:
ARGH.

Rough plans

Alarm clocks are evil. Alarm clocks going off behind locked doors more so. Grumpy this morning much. Still not sleeping well and slept in an odd position on my sore shoulder and well, it's sore!

Anyhow, it's not all grumpy grumping today. Last night I decided to cheer myself up I started working out a rough itinerary for our Europe trip so that I could leave it on the pillow for Gene to look at when he got home this morning. Wow! What a trip :)

As a rough guide, the first week will be spent in France, Paris for Christmas and visiting friends and family. The start of the second week sees us travelling South to Toulouse to connect with our train/bus to Andorra La Vella. We'll spend a couple of days there before heading to Spain to live it up in Barcelona and then possibly Ibiza (costs allowing) and then Valencia before we fly up to Britain. A week or so in England doing the family, museum, theatre thing before we start our whirlwind tour of Wales, Ireland and Scotland. From Scotland we fly to Norway where we're heading north to the Arctic Circle to see the Northern Lights. Once we've frozen ourselves we'll travel south to the The Netherlands, possibly Germany but we may not have time or cash and then a quick stop in Belgium before relaxing back in France for a few days seeing friends and family again. After we'll be on our home stretch heading back to Doha, then Singapore and then Melbourne!

This activity turned out to be a bad idea because instead of wearing out my brain it just got me excited about the trip which is possibly only 58 days away! Eek!

Detailled itinerary to follow in the next few days as we start to make bookings. We're in the process of contacting various people to arrange visits :)

More ranting than expected

I was browsing through the Age website today, as I often do on my day off, and was immediately drawn to the two articles on cosmetic whitening creams in Asia. While I have no real opinion on the findings they presented in terms of mercury and chromium traces in the creams, I was surprised that "white is the new tan" in Asia. It really isn't that new when you think about it. Just take a look at any Chinese or Japanese illustrations and you'll see pale skin instead of olive skin. I understand that the title of the article is just something to catch the attention of the reader (worked for me) but a little consistancy in the reporting would have been nice. One of the articles finished with a comment about reverting back to old methods of temporary whitening like yoghurt.

It is true though, the love of fair skin among Asian communities. Browsing the cosmetics and skin care isle at Carrefour over here there's a miriad of products that can give you a perfect porcelain complexion. There are even capsules that you can take daily to assist with this complexion. Face wipes, soaps, masks... anything to keep the skin fair. At school I had a friend who stayed indoors/out of the sun for a couple of months because she had to go to a wedding and didn't want to be tanned. It's crazy but I guess we the grass is always greener. At least foot binding doesn't seem to have come back into fashion...

Speaking of fashion... as a small tiny person I was a little alarmed and disappointed when I read an article and saw a news snippet that said that some bra manufacturers were planning to stop making A & B cup sizes in their bra. This really sucks. I'm small enough to be able to fit into size 12 Australian kids clothes. (Pretty funky clothes out there for twelve year olds let me just say!) I can't buy off the rack pants for ladies without having to hack at least 20cm off the bottom of them. Shoes are a nightmare. I buy virtually any shoe that fits me that I like because I don't come across them often. Now to hear that I might not be able to get a bra that fits with any great ease really pisses me off. Grrr. Small frustrated person right here. I don't mind wearing kids clothes, they're often comfortable and it's highly unlikely I'll end up at a party in the same frock as someone else. I think that when I start having trouble buying underwear that fits I'll quite possibly lose it. Sorry, that was probably sharing a bit much but it's frustrating being small sometimes! (I know that there are people even smaller than me and I shouldn't whinge but I'm selfish that way. Besides, I think they should have access to clothing that fits well too).

Now that that's out of my system... the article in the Age on fried coke also caught my mind. All you'd need to do is add some chicken and fries and you'd almost have a fast food meal on a stick.

I've been thinking about the time difference between Melbourne and Doha and I've decided it's not so bad. When I'm eating lunch in Doha is roughly when I'd be eating dinner in Melbourne. I'm not really having much dinner, just a light snack when I get home which is roughly what happens late at night in Melbourne and breakfast in Doha is lunch.

Sorry that was a bit random.

In other news my iPod has finally been dispatched from Sydney. Hopefully it will arrive on Sunday or Monday. I say hopefully because there's a huge backlog of freight at the airport apparently because there's some event happening here in December...

Well, I'm going to curl up on the couch and hitchhike the galaxy a bit.

Retiring Grumpus

In my defence I have been meaning to post a new blog during the last week and a half but it's been getting rather busy here in Doha with plenty of things to see and do... most of them work related so unblogable (if that's a word).

Our new villa is wonderful, albeit identical the the one that I moved out of, and we've met our housemate Nevine who is also wonderful. Gene & I are in the master bedroom which is larger than our flat in Footscray was and a little smaller than our place in Brunswick East, perhaps two thirds of the size. We bought our own sheets and they are the most gorgeous cotton sheets that I've ever owned. Soft as soft stuff as Gene would say. Most importantly they're not white. This is the view from just in front of the bedroom window. The little alcove where you can see the mirror leads to our ensuite.


The view from our villa is essentially the same as the view from my last villa with a different villa number on the door.

Most excitingly since my last post it has started to cool down in Doha. The evening breezes are actually cool! Apparently even the spa-temperature-pool has cooled down. Some of the local crew have assured me that "madam will need a jacket soon!", I hope they're right.

Aside from that there's not much to report. I made choc-chip cookies and dolmades over the last week or so. I failled miserably at biryani (planning to try again with different meat and less dairy products). My work hours have changed from a day shift to a late morning-evening shift which is more productive than the day shift was. This does mean that I tend to get up in the mid-morning and run for the shuttle. The evening sees me coming home, eating, doing logic puzzles and then falling asleep before the mid-morning hits again. Less time for blogging as Opening gets closer. 54 days to go!

On the food front, Amy cooked a wonderful laksa for us on Friday night. While I'm not usually one to order a laksa at home, this was one tasty meal! She made plenty of chocolate brownies for dessert as well... I may have eaten too much again. Seems to be what I do on Fridays... eat too much... This coming weekend we're planning to try the Ramadan tent at the Ritz Carlton. It's meant to be the best tent although I've heard the Arabic music can get a bit much.

Another reason that I haven't posted recently is that Grumpus took over for awhile and peaked yesterday when I'd planned to respond to Nai, Nick & Deb's comments. Many things were making me grumpy. One of the biggest things that made me grumpy was my iPod completely dying. It's cactus. It's telling me to see the iPod support site. I did that. I tried to restore the iPod. Failled. Tried to initialise it (like the site told me to). Failled. So now I'm going to get a new one from eBay. It's brand new in a box and should be Fed-Exed to me in about three days time. For now I'm carting my laptop around with me and there's no music on the way to work.

Not wanting to finish on a grumpy note... I should mention that yesterday I received my first Arabic love letter... well it's more of a note... Nevine taught Gene how to write our names in Arabic yesterday so he's written Sarah heart Gene (read from right to left of course). How romantic :)

Speaking of which, this is the view from outside the reception of the office at dusk.

Grumpus Returns

Today is a grumpy day because I can't find my black leather belt. I know this is a trivial matter but as someone who has a great deal of trouble finding belts that are both functional and fit, I am grumpy without it. It would seem that I've lost weight so now I actually need a belt to hold my pants up and I've stupidly gone and misplaced it. Grr! I know it's in the house somewhere and I've hunted through all the rooms and all the clothes and it's just not there. It's probably staring me right in the face. Damn you belt!

Belt-blues aside though it's been an okay day today. Gorgeous Winter day in Melbourne spent bike box shopping which also resulted in the purchase of a black shirt that does up with small hooks & eyelets, a black vest with lacing up the back and a cream top to go with it. I tried to hunt for a belt that fit but the smallest I could find was a 32" belt and that's about 6-7 more inches than I need.

It's almost time to start getting ready for swing dancing which will undoubtably cheer me up. After all, it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!

5 days till departure

Our darlin' little Herman (Hermione on particularly shy days) has been taken to Naomi's where he'll be staying for the next couple of weeks. I think he's really going to enjoy the lack of trams rattling past his window every 8 minutes. Besides, who wouldn't want to hang out with Nomes for 15 days?! We're hoping that he behaves and doesn't make too much of a mess. He's a pretty good rat though and we cleaned his cage yesterday so he shouldn't get too crazy and kick all his bedding out just yet.

The move is going well so far. A big thank you to Gene's Dad, Uncle TC and Nick for helping move furniture today. Added thanks to the Nic(k)s for taking our 9(?) boxes of books, graphic novels, DVDs, X Box and bookshelf. My book-obsessed self is feeling secure in the knowledge that they will be well looked after.

The couch has been returned from whence it came, unlike the DVDs we hired last week, at the op shop around the corner accompanied by the fridge and at least four bags of clothes.

Mum, Gene & I spent two hours at the storage place restacking and repacking boxes so that there was space for Gene & I to store some of our furniture in there too. I think it was a bit frustrating for Gene as Mum & I sorted through our stuff.

So where are we now? Well, the bedroom is almost packed. I've reduced my wardrobe to two small boxes and a bag that I'll travel with and wear over the next couple of days. There's still a couple of bags of washing to be done, but I'm going to try and get rid of most of my wardrobe. After all, Japan & Singapore have Sarah-sized clothes so if I want to shop...

There is so much paperwork to sort through, mainly unopened mail but it's so tempting to just bin it all. Sadly that can't be. We still have the kitchen to box up tomorrow and then the bathroom but I think that's all. It'll be time to get into the cleaning after that.

Space bags are our friend. We also bought our first duster today. We tend to just use a damp cloth but we figured we'd lash out if it makes the job faster.

Hopefully I can get someone in to steam clean on Monday. I'm also going to get them to do a once over of the house for us to further ensure we get the bond back. It's a back up plan in case we miss something.

Well, the boxes aren't going to fill themselves... so off I go.

Slightly Stresssed

Second last day at work and it was really frustrating. I'm not going to go into detail because I've already vented twice and it gets me pretty angry just thinking about it. Suffice to say if today had run more efficiently, I wouldn't have to go back tomorrow. Just a few more hours tomorrow and it's just moving house to worry about.

Gene's got all the books, DVDs and Xbox stuff packed and ready to go and I've gotten rid of 1.5 bags of clothes already. I'm trying to be ruthless but it's happening in stages. Damn my sentimentality!

I have a pretty good t-shirt collection right now. I just got another one today from work. The Dead Set gave all the techs one of their t-shirts. They're very cool!

Tomorrow I'm buying more boxes and picking up Mum's car which should be good. Then it's down to our house and a quick look at the storage place I think. We've already filled quite a few boxes with books but we're looking to get proper packing boxes for the glassware and crockery etc. It should be good.

I must admit I'm pretty stressed about the whole moving house thing. It's more the large array of stuff that's in our bedroom really. The livingroom's just about done and the kitchen won't take long.

Can't believe we leave in 7 days... It's exciting and stressful all at once. I'll feel better once we've moved most of our stuff.

People suck sometimes

Fuck it pisses me off when people don't stop for injured animals or animals in danger it really does.

Nick, Matt and I were having a lovely picnic in the gardens across from the Arts Centre when we saw a dog roaming the park. Naturally as we had food there we were hoping the dog would not be coming to make friends with us just yet and just ignored it and carried on with our conversation. Moments later we hear a loud bang and turn to see the blue heeler ricocheting off the bonnet of a silver car with a yelp as it was pushed to the centre of the busy road. The car sped off while the cars behind attempted to brake and miss the dog. A few onlookers jumped up and one of the girls and I made it to the road. She picked up the dog (who was yelping in pain and struggling to stand) moved her to the side of the road in the shade. I called the animal hospital who then put me on to the Lost Dogs Home ambulance who came as soon as they could. It just really pissed me off that the person driving the car didn't even come back. It shits me that someone could leave another living creature for dead in the middle of the busy road. Sure it's traumatic being the driver and knowing you've hit someone but how the fuck can you live with yourself knowing that you didn't stop to render assistance? Even the lady in the car in front of the car that hit the dog came back to check on the dog as she'd seen it all in her rearview mirror. It just makes me angry. There wasn't much in the way of external injury. A little bleeding from the front right dew claw and a little where the abdomen meets the hind legs. Nothing was visibly broken but I'm fairly sure that the hind legs took a fair brunt of the force of the car. It was amazing that she was still alive really. I'm getting all angry thinking about this again. We (Nick, a somewhat goth couple of girls and I) sat with her until the ambulance came (flashing lights and all) and then slid her onto the makeshift gurney and carried her to the car. The poor thing was not impressed with the move as it obviously pained her. She was in shock and I think the last thing that she wanted to see was another dog but there was a dog in another section of the station wagon/ambulance. In true fighting style she picked herself up as much as she could and dragged herself to the other end of the car and tried to sit up but ended up just curling up into a ball. I hope she's okay and I hope she has a home to go to. It's silly I know, but I'm going to call tomorrow and just see how she is. I guess it's closure for me.

Besides, Gene and my family can testify that I'm always the first to get someone to pull over in a car and help get dogs or cows off the road. If reincarnation exists I hope that someone will help me if I'm a scared creature that somehow found myself in the midst of loud fast scary big things. Grr people.

The whole affair put a dampener on things but Nick was wonderful and came back with hot drinks which were nice and soothing. We ended up lazing in the park watching a little girl play with a bubble gun and later a family strolling through the gardens with bright parasols. It was just what I needed after the late night last night. A little sunshine and (relatively) fresh air is good for the soul really.

We headed back to Matt's where we finished the night talking about theatre and shows we've seen/worked on/want to do. Then we watched Matt's version of Gypsy complete with director's commentary and fast-forwarding. It was great although I really wish I'd gotten to see it live.

It never ceases to amaze me what Matt can do with a show. It's always a challenge and always a fantastic learning experience working with him. Admittedly I've only worked with him once but he brings out the best in people and his craftsmanship in storytelling... I just don't know how to describe it but it feels right. I look forward to working with him again.

I keep thinking about what I'm going to do when my contract with the Games finishes and the thought of not having something to move onto is stressing me somewhat but I guess I need to work out what I want to do and chase that. There are just so many things that I want to do. I need to focus.

Every year I want to build on my skills and well I hope I can actually do it this year. I want to understand better how theatre is put together. In a similar way to writers looking at the forms of writing and various structures involved in writing, I want to get a better understanding of the elements that go together to put on a good show and how they work. I don't need to be a master of all trades, I just want to understand and try. It's a challenge but I think it'll make me better at what I do. I think everyone should get out there and challenge themselves to do something that they wouldn't normally do every now and then. It's refreshing!

I guess even though I didn't really do much other than relax all day it feels like it's been a long day. The whole incident with the dog really took it out of me. I think I was feeling stressed because I felt helpless. I couldn't do much to help the dog who was obviously distressed and in pain. She couldn't tell me what bits hurt and how she felt. She could just lie there. I felt helpless because I couldn't help her and I was angry that the person who had caused the pain didn't stop. I was angry because they had placed this creature in this position, even though it wasn't intentional, and hadn't even given a damn what happened to it. It made me very angry.

Tomorrow is a new day and I will still probably be angry but I'm not going to let it take over my life. I will continue to stop and help where I can because frankly that's just the kind of person I am. I guess I am a little idealistic and seem to think that most people would act the same way. Silly me.

People suck sometimes.

Grumpus

Tonight I'm grumpy and feeling rather sorry for myself. Don't say I didn't warn you.

As per my usual excellent timing, mere days before what could be the busiest three-four weeks of my life, I have managed to get sick. Despite having told myself it is nothing but a mere throat infection (the kind that just sees me lose my voice but generally function regardless) I have had to come to terms with the idea that it is perhaps a little more than that. The wheezing sensation in my upper chest combined with the rapidly rising fever (which the panadol has stopped combatting) is leading me to believe that tomorrow may be a swift trip to the doctor. Argh! Why now? I've been looking forward to these few weeks for months now!

Gene's been wonderful today though, he dropped me off at work and then he took me to get some cough mixture (which is surprisingly yummy) and then went to the video store to get some videos to watch. So far we've watched Mr & Mrs Smith which wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. Sure it's not the deepest of plots or most profound characters, but it was kind of cute and well chosen for my brain capacity at present. We're about two thirds of the way through Pleasantville but Gene's been hijacked my Nomes and Lisa to go drinking. I guess we'll finish watching it tomorrow some time.

Aside from getting sick I've been having a great time working hard and I'm still looking forward to the big days ahead. I can't believe it's only a matter of weeks away. I'm really excited and damn it I will be healthy for this experience!

Things are going well

There is very little in this world that is more disconcerting than the feeling that your brain is dribbling out of your ears.

I hate ear drops.

This sentiment is not to say that things aren't going well in life. They're just a little busy and I don't have much time to dedicate to my ear infection. It's just piped up at a most inconvenient time... honestly it should have known better.

It occurs to me that I'm in a bit of a strange mood and should probably stop writing now.

Study? I think not!

This studying thing is definitely not what I remember. Mainly because I didn't really do that much studying last time I gave this a shot... more procrastinating and drinking and hanging out in ex-toilet offices. As a result I'm madly trying to catch up on my history homework - the different spellings of names and places in Greek myths are driving me nuts. I'm still what feels like a week behind when I'm closer to a week and a half. The readings look deceptively short, however I've discovered that the paper of my textbook is rather thin.

I felt bad about the lack of writing lately although in all honesty I didn't really have much to say over the last few days. The weekend was fairly uneventful. I tackled as much Greek myth as I could fit in my head until it hurt...

Oh hang on! On Sunday I went with Nick (not Naomi's Nick) to see the first piece of theatre that I've gotten to in ages at Red Stitch called Bug by Tracey Letts. It was good! I found the pacing of the play a bit strange though. The first half seemed to be a little slow and then it ended rather quickly. Great story though and great story telling and that's what counts for me. As a side note, Last Minute.com (who I just linked the title of the play to just in case someone wants to get tickets for it) have different prices to what Nick and I paid on Sunday... more expensive by two dollars... so maybe call Red Stitch to book...

Monday was a bit lacking really and it's all my fault. When I chat to Lisa we talk about "girly moments". Times when you know that you're being irrational or picky or simply not reacting to the situation like you usually would (ie. in a calm and sensible manner) but you can feel the hormones raging over and clouding your judgement and making you do things that you actively know at the time will make things worse - or if you're really lucky just make things not get any better at the time. Anyhow Monday was like that. So I wasted the better part of my one day this week with my darling man having a "girly moment". (Note to Naomi: I'm trying your theory on publicly acknowledging the situation that I appear to have unwittingly caused in assuaging guilt... would probably help if Gene saw this though!) In the end we went to the video store and hired eight movies and watched two. We watched King Arthur and Erik the Viking. I didn't hate King Arthur and I found it quite engaging although I would have liked to have seen a little more about where they got their references and all in all found the making of the film rather lacking. The costumes were cool though... and Clive Owen's pretty... Keira Knightly was pretty cool too (although rather under-dressed for the weather I would have thought). Definitely going to have to look into this Sarmation army thing though... Erik the Viking was great and I really enjoyed it. Tim Robbins is funny :)

I'm sensing this post is getting rather long... but I'm going to keep going anyway because I have a gripe to voice.

Yesterday was a beautiful day so Gene suggested we go for a bike ride. Just a short one. He was on his way home on the tram in a wonderfully good mood. By the time he got home though, he wasn't in such a good mood. He'd just had a ticket inspector call him a liar. The ticket machine didn't print on the back of his daily ticket (as I've recently noticed happening) and when the ticket inspector re-validated the ticket it printed "expired" on the back. As a result said inspector made a report (which is fine) but then refused to give Gene a replacement day pass for travel (as they are meant to do when you have a ticket confiscated for evidence) but only gave him two hours saying that Gene was using an expired ticket so why should he get a daily? What happened to the innocent until proven otherwise?! I've noticed on a few of my 2hr x 10 tickets that the machines skip lines or more annoyingly within the two hours that you've got before it is supposed to use another ticket it uses another ticket anyway. So all in all the fare evasion campaign that they have is currently pissing me off because their ticketing system is ridiculously unreliable - I've been told by a Metlink person at a premium train station that tickets supplied at newsagencies aren't that reliable so they weren't willing to give me the replacement tickets and that I'd have to pay out the old faulty metcard. Give me a decent ticketing system and tram inspectors who don't just give tickets but can answer questions - I couldn't even get an answer about concession cards from one of them. They didn't stop. They just hopped off the tram. Oh and Gene's infringement notice says "none-valid ticket" so it's good to know their spelling is up to scratch.

We're getting our bikes serviced tomorrow so hopefully we won't have to worry about stupid tickets for a while. It's part of our "get fit" plan as well.

Oooh.. now what I really wanted to achieve in today's post (aside from the rant) is to share my excitement of having my first shifts as a venue operations officer this week! Yay for having work! I'm working tonight and Friday night and tomorrow during the day. I'm actually really excited about tomorrow because it's the police brass band and they were awesome last time I saw them -which was admittedly when I was twelve but I'm sure they can only have gotten better!

So on that much brighter note, I'm going back to my study of Greek gods and their origins.

Luke Warm

I started watching Angels in America last night and got all the way to chapter 2 when the DVD froze. It was struggling a bit with layer changes but then it just refused to work. I've now watched half of chapter to a x32 speed at least three times. It's still quite a pretty watch then. I suppose that started a bit of a trend after that.

This morning when Gene got up to have a shower he came back to say the water was great for a couple of minutes before it died down to cold water and never heated up again. I tested this theory and found that while I didn't get cold water it was just luke-warm again. I'm hoping the day improves.

I was going to get my next textbook, or at least try today, but have decided to hold off till Monday due to financial reasons (namely my banking transfer didn't work and I need to get petrol for tonight). I'm not too fussed though. I'm sure the State Library of Victoria will have a copy of it somewhere.

It's funny how I don't really feel down but reading through my post so far it's coming across that I am. I'm feeling apathetic today so I suppose that's what's coming across.

Anyhow, I'll write later when I've done some stuff. I'm accutely aware that a trip to the bank is required today and time is of the essence.

Hot water, textbooks and comments

Hazaar! We have hot water again! Okay, we always had warm water (which is better than some people have I know) but today the lovely plumber came and fixed our hot water system so we now have decent water pressure AND lovely hot water. It was amazing, he just turned a couple of knobs and hey presto we had scorchingly hot water. I can't wait to have a shower tonight. It'll be the first time in a week and a half since we've been able to use the cold tap in the shower.

Double hazaar because I got two comments on/from my blog in the last two days. I feel all special now!

Suddenly I'm concerned with my spelling of hazaar but I've been finding that I'm not confident in my spelling at all lately and Dictionary.Com isn't working as well as it usually does... it's just not loading!

Anyhoo, today has been less productive than I would have liked but I'm on strict order by Gene not to crochet until the pain goes away (damn sensible boyfriend). So having nothing better to occupy my time with I was just going to have a lazy-in-bed-reading day until I realised that I start uni on Monday and have no textbooks from which to study. I was about to dash out the door when my phone rang. It was the wonderful plumber trying to arrange a time to come and fix our hot water. It was destined that I would have to get out of bed today. So I sprinted out the door even faster and jumped on the second tram that I saw (the first tram I watched as it left the stop as I arrived). Due to the Anti-VSU protests a the trams were diverted from their usual travels. But more on the VSU later. I visited three bookshops for two textbooks and arrived home with just one textbook and a case for my Palm (yay!).

Today I relieved the joy that is being broke after buying your textbooks. It's my first "serious" textbook in a while... Australian Business Law. Part of me considered getting the study book that goes with it but the $60+ price tag dissuaded me.

Okay VSU. While I'm not a student who's going to a physical university campus, I strongly believe that the services supported through the payment of these general service fees are incredibly important to the well-being and enjoyment of students at universities. I suppose it's hard for some people to see the services that are supported through these fees, but I certainly wouldn't have gotten to where I am now without them. When I was at Monash I was a highly active member of the Clubs & Societies (mainly the theatre ones, but I did join a couple of others), I saw the counsellors, took advantage of the medical facilities more than once, enjoyed having many serves of nachos at the various food places and that's just the things that I can think of off the top of my head. Oh wait, there's the whole student union fighting for friends who, due to an admin bungle, had not received their re-enrolment details and then when they went to challenge it on the date specified in the student diary (another subsidised resource might I add) were told that the date printed was incorrect and they were no longer a student there. Hundreds of students were affected by this, but with the support of the union and their legal staff these students were re-instated. Without the extra-curricular activities students are really missing out on what makes uni the "best time of your life". I still remember when I was in first year uni I caught up with some friends from highschool and we were talking about our experiences at Monash & Melbourne Unis. I mentioned that I'd made lots of new friends through the Clubs & Societies while my friends who hadn't really looked into it yet were just heading to class and back home and wondering what all the fuss was about. Yes, you're at uni to study and hopefully that means studying something you're passionate about, but when you get out into the wonderful scary "real world" you need other things to make your life complete. Hobbies, socialising, outside interests to help you wind down after a busy and sometimes stressful day at work. These interests set you apart from others when you look for work or even just when you're meeting people. Clubs & societies at Monash provided me with the opportunity to explore different enviroments and activities. I really with that I'd taken advantage of things like the Skydiving club. While students should be given the choice of how to spend their money, I think that a general fee to maintain these services and give students the choice of using these services is crucial to maintaining student life and culture. Like they said in the meeting I attended earlier in the year, think of it as if it's personal tax, it helps to support the infrastructure that we enjoy in our everyday lives. It's a matter of the greater good versus the self.

Okay I'm almost done with the ranting... While I'm really excited about going back to study. There's no way it's going to be as fun without the other stuff to keep life interesting. I'll definitely miss ambling down the corridor to Student Theatre to see who was there and who was free to grab some food/coffee.

Herman's loudly crunching away at his kibble which is a signal that he wants to be fed. So I'd better do so before he starts throwing a tantrum (it's amazing how much noise a rat can make with one food dish).

Yay for hot water, textbooks and comments!

A bit of a rant surrounded by lighter notes

It's amazing how three days of solid reading can generate a migraine when you haven't been wearing your glasses... okay perhaps not that amazing, but consider my lesson learnt.

I feel like I've been folding clothes forever even though it's only been a day. Believe me when I say Gene and I have many clothes... mostly black so they all look relatively similar. So many shades of black. It's almost like that scene in Notting Hill where Spike and umm.... Hugh Grant's character are having that discussion about never having clean clothes... we really should do cleaning more regularly.

Discipline. Great word. Fantastic concept. We should try it some time!

I've had a flick through my uni stuff, or half of it anyway and it's exciting and scary all at once to discover that my exam falls on the last day of NaNoWriMo... at least it's at 2pm so I've still got the rest of the evening to finish my novel... ahem.

Yesterday I did an online survey because a) I like doing surveys b) there is a remote possibility that I might win something. It worried me, however, how biased the survey seemed to be. I appreciate how painful a long winded multiple choice survey with a zillion answers can be, but it's better than offering too few choices. In particular it's question asking about issues that are important to me. There were about 8 choices on terrorism issues and Australian relationships with other countries and that was fine. However it had one option to do with Muslims and the only other option to do with religion was "Lack of Religion". I find that really upsetting because it's so blatantly targeted at one religious group. Lack of religion?! I honestly feel that in today's media we have a rather biased religious view being presented. Now I don't claim to have answers to any of the larger political issues and honestly I haven't followed current news as carefully as I should, but I believe that everybody has the right to chose their own beliefs and I think we should respect that right.

As for the whole terrorism thing, I don't condone hurting innocent people to prove or present a point. At the same time, I do wonder (thanks to good ol' high school debating) if we would listen to them otherwise. Would we listen if they wrote us a letter or even a hundred letters? I don't know. I don't have the answers so sue me for it. I just don't think we should let ourselves and our society be paralysed by fear. The number of televisions sold has increased significantly over the years since the September 11 bombings and people are venturing out less and less. I really think it's sad that we're now so scared to get out of the house and see the world and enjoy the short years that we have on this planet because we're worried we'll be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sure it's a survival instinct, but in some ways I guess I believe that the people who are doing these things will have won if we're all huddled in our houses watching the world go by on our televisions.

I was speaking to my Dad just after the London bombings and he was saying that even when he was in London, bombs were a daily threat. If you saw a pillar box you crossed the road. So when he watched the news reports about the subway bombings he felt that it was terrible, but that the people of London were probably slightly less shocked than everyone else was making them out to be.

Okay ranting done now.

On a lighter note, Mum called last night from Singapore and it was great to chat with her. It's funny how the futher away I am from my parents, the closer it seems to bring us. I think that when I was in Perth for a month I spoke to my parents more than when I was still living in Melbourne but not at home! Anyhow, it's great to see that she's discovered the world of internet shopping. It'll be great for her craft stuff. She's already bought knitting needles online and she's looking for some special ribbons for her jewelry work. Mum's coming home on Saturday morning in time to teach her bear-making class. She's feeling a bit bad at having missed one already. Usually I'd try to visit her the night she gets home but it's Kieren & Loz's 21st birthday in Geelong so Gene and I will be heading down there on Saturday evening. We've arranged to catch up with my folks on Sunday. Mum's got a tool holder for Gene and she's pretty excited about having found it.

I'm really glad that my parents get along so well with Gene. It's painful when your family and your boyfriend don't mix well.

Part of me is thinking that I may need to get rid of some of my wool... Sorry I'm back on the cleaning rant again. Another part of me is thinking another bookself would be a wise investment. The only question being where would it go... A topic to discuss with Gene I think. Either way we need to look at our storage options again. It's a little sad when at 22yrs I'm thinking of heading to the Home Show to see if they can offer some better storage options...

Just over six weeks to go until NaNoWriMo and I'm starting to think about my potential novel at night. I'm still try to work out what genre to attempt! While I've immersed myself in the realms of sci-fi and fantasy for as long as I can remember, I don't think I have anything new to offer to them. Or at least anything that wouldn't make me cringe and hate myself for a long LONG time. I just wish I had a little more than a couple of joking ideas involving giant squid and bad lift music. I've already started work on my magna carte. I've promised myself no crappy romance lines eg. Oh woe is me, he/she's so cute and wonderful in my dreams but he/she's betrayed me. How will I live? No I hate them. No really I do. Oh okay. They're a bit of all right. Woe is me I am tormented by my conflicted feelings. Eugh. It's my current pet hate in books.

Speaking of books I'm going to do a little more folding and them I'm going to crawl back into bed and continue reading "Ilium" (winner of the 2004 Locus award for best sci-fi novel) which I started reading last night. It's wonderful so far and has an opening sequence that you just want to read out loud. I love novels that make you want to read them out loud. Such wonderful language!

I'm Beginning to See the Light

Today was just one of those days. It's hard to tell whether it was just my disinclination (if that's a word) to get out of bed this morning that just set the tone for the rest of the day, or whether it was always destined to turn out the way it did.

It wasn't a bad day, but it wasn't great either. One of those non-days really!

I had the client double-jack with me today at work and I was having a rather rotten dialing day. Too many wrong numbers to make it feel good! The pasta was good at work though. I was originally going to make food tonight for work tomorrow but I forgot and just had steak and vegies instead. I'm defrosting some mince so that I can make either pasta sauce or chilli con carne tomorrow... I haven't decided yet!

Swing dancing was good tonight although I missed Gene immensely when social dancing started. I stayed for a short while, had a dance with a couple of the guys there and then headed home. I just don't feel like myself today!

For that matter, I haven't really been myself for at least a week. I'm getting quite insular. I can feel myself sliding into a secluded world where I start to wallow in my own thoughts. It's not good! Thinking can be good... wallowing is less good. I am starting to get a bit better though. I'm happy that I can at least recognise that I'm getting in a bad way and I am making and effort to halt the downward spiral.

My eyes are dim, but I can see... but I have not got my specs with me... on that note I end.

The Yellow Brick Road

Wow. I can't believe how down I've been getting in the last week. I've been grumpy most days and it only picks up slightly every now and then. I don't think it's work either. It's this feeling of being housebound. I hate it!

I just want to get back to my place where I can just walk down the road and see people. Or jump on my bike and head to the park or to the city. I want to be able to come home and know that I'm in my own home and everything I want is there and not have to worry about having to cart it around with me, just in case...

The first couple of weeks were good and I've really enjoyed watching TV at home... I've been able to gorge myself on "Will & Grace" for the last few weeks. I'll miss that! The dogs are a little too jumpy for my liking... or more accurately their claws are just so long! I'd trim them but I'm not particularly good with that and I'd probably just cause them pain... I remember Ziggy had a fear of nail clippers for good reason.

I'm really loving the cable internet and I'll definitely miss that more than anything else! It's great to be able to just jump on whenever I want to and be able to get everything I need quickly. I just feel more efficient :)

It's not long to go now though. Just a few more days.

I think the carnival is over. I'm ready to return to Kansas.

Socks & Stuff

Today, for the first time in a little while, I have completed a two part project. I have finally finished knitting my second sock so I now have a pair! In fact I was so excited that I finally finished that I've started another pair using wool half as thick and needles half as thin. I have a feeling I'm going to go blind trying to make this second pair, but it should be great if I get through them. The should be quite soft. I just hope I've got the tension right... I should probably knit a tension square...

Aside from that I also got stuck into my to-do list and have completed a couple of things, namely bill payment and general house keeping. There's still a bit to be done, and by a bit I mean heaps, but I've finally made a start.

I feel like I've been in a bit of a rut lately. My days have been spent oversleeping and watching more television than is healthy as opposed to my plan to spend some time reading. I guess it's got a little to do with the ease of knitting and watching tv as opposed to reading and knitting. It's a bit annoying when you have to turn the page... Even so, I need to get myself into gear and keep it up. I hate being this idle. I get all depressed. Too much time to think. Then again it's probably good for me. Argh! I can hear my brain holding this conversation all night...

"You're just trying to keep yourself busy so you don't have to think about anything or confront any issues..."
"What issues? I just like being busy so that I feel like my life is actually productive and has value"
"You're running away from life... there's a difference between living and experiencing and just blinkering yourself."
"Is that even a word? "Blinkering"?"
"That's not the point. You're avoiding the issues again."
"Again, I say, what issues? I'm not avoiding anything, I'm just easily distracted."

... and so forth. I do this far too often. I with I'd just come to a conclusion!

Len used to talk to me about balance. He said I needed to find a balance in my life and I agree. I just feel like everytime I finally seem to have things going well and "balanced" in my life, something happens or I discover that I was just deluding myself into thinking that I had balance. That whole something happening isn't my way of blaming the world/universe or anything. I have a nagging suspicion that I create that something. I've known for quite sometime that I get a bit bored with my life. I feel so boring. I've felt pretty boring (or more kindly termed "conservative") for most of my life. I don't really take chances as much as I used to. Somewhere along the lines I went from the kind of girl who gave everything at least one shot to the girl who wasn't sure about anything. Every now and then I like to "spice things up" but not in a positive way. I get argumentative, I get depressed, I let the little things get to me and then pick fights with people, I stir trouble socially, I tip the scales and let everything swing, swirl and spin until eventully I have several pressing problems. Then I get more depressed and the panic attacks start, I stop sleeping and then I slowly even things out again and life becomes good again.

This is not something I'm happy about. I'm glad that I can acknowledge the cycle exists. I'm not happy that I haven't been able to break it. It makes me wonder if there's some underlying issue at hand, or if I'm just thinking too hard and not living enough.

I worry too much about things. I just need to learn how to relax. I also need to remember that you can relax while doing things. It's been a bit hard to get out of bed lately. It's just so comfortable and warm in there. I love lounging in bed.

I also love having new experiences. I need to get out more and just do something.

At the moment I'm really enjoying swing dancing. It was GREAT to get out again last night and have a dance. We did some tandem dancing and I thought I was going crazy. My feet kept trying to do the opposite to what were were doing and I couldn't work out why. Then it was pointed out that when we go into lead/follow that I'll need to do the opposite footwork. Having only done lead/follow type dancing... that explained that! I still grin every time I think that Gene came and joined in. I'm so incredibly excited because it means that we'll be able to dance together. I'd really like that. He was great, despite his "I can't dance and tonight proved it" way of thinking. It's frustrating knowing that there's all these really cool things that can be done but knowing that it's going to be ages before you get to do it. He said that he'd love me to learn how to juggle clubs... I said I'd need to work on the juggling balls thing first... He agreed and said that once that was done then we could juggle together. I sort of brushed it aside, but just thinking about it, I should at least try. After all he has a vague interest in being able to dance with me and I have a vague fascination with juggling. I used to spent hours just watching him juggle instead of going to my lectures when we first met. I really should make an effort because I love him and I want to show him that. I always wonder sometimes about "signals" in relationships. Any relationship be it friends, acquaintances or something more, but I'll save that thought for another day.