Mid-Festival Update

It's been just over a month since I last wrote and things are settling down a little. Which is perfectly normal given that I'll be temporarily relocating to Adelaide in less than a month for work. We're well in the swing of things for Melbourne Fringe and I'm back in the rhythm of sleep deprivation and general festivity.

Mum's been in and out of hospital with an infection but we think we may have it under control now. As I walked past their bedroom door, I caught her reflection in the mirror which is the only way I knew that she was home. Just shows how much I've been home in the last day...

I'm off to see Wicked this afternoon which I'm excited about but also sad given Rob Guest's passing. Then it's off to the theatre to get ready for another night of circus at the Fringe.

I do love my festivals :)
Great people, great times.
Sleep can come later

A Disjointed Catch Up

I can't help but notice that my lack of blogging seems to stem from just after Gene & I broke up last year. It's almost as if when we broke up I couldn't find any words to write. No way of really saying what I thought and I really didn't feel a need to share how I felt as frankly that would have been boring.

So almost a year on I guess I'm still trying to find myself. Not so much remember what it's like to be single, but discover my independence and learn to enjoy it.

Okay, random burst of self-reflection over (phew!).

Let's just say that there wasn't a great deal of reading in May & June... Combined reading list for those months include:
1. The Dragon Queen
2. Pardon My French
3. Growing Up Asian in Australia

If only event management plans counted in the list... but as thick as some of them were, they're not quite books.

June consisted of many weekend trips from Brisbane to Melbourne & Sydney. Visiting family, farewelling friends and celebrating a birthday. It's a good thing I don't mind flying really. After the last weekend away the Festival really started to ramp up production. Defintely my favourite part that's not the actual Festival.

July saw the start of the Festival. We worked hard, we played hard. There were many opening nights and closing nights celebrated. It was good. Was lucky enough to see some shows which was rather novel. It was all over in a haze of beer, gin & wine and before we knew it we were bare-foot bowling on a beautiful sunny August day.

It would be hard to believe that only a fortnight ago I was sitting in the sun watching people bowl... except that I landed back in Melbourne on Saturday. It was not sunny. Luckily it wasn't too cold either. I keep telling myself that it's "the same temperature as Brisbane at night... but brighter".

Right now I'm in Sydney enjoying the sunshine and 20˚C days... well I was, it's supposed to storm tomorrow. Still trying to work out what I'll do tomorrow... am thinking it could be a good day for a museum or possibly the aquarium. I may yet fit an antique fair in.

I must admit I'm in a bit of a strange mood tonight. It's been a bit of a odd day. I woke up with a migraine and feeling a bit out of sorts. Did a bit of shopping. Had a nap. Woke up when my phone rang. It was Dad. My grandma in Singapore has stage 4 cancer. I pondered the fact that my Mum's family has had and excellent health history until now when both my Mum & Grandma have cancer. I'm starting to think that my random (morbid) thought that I'll die in the water is possibly incorrect and that it's more likely to be cancer. Strangely I'd rather the water but I'm trying not to dwell on that as I don't particularly want to die at this point in time. When I get bad news that I can't do anything about I turn to depressing music to soothe my woes. So after a good hour of depressing tunes I headed out to have cocktails with a few friends. Dinner followed the cocktails (although perhaps it should have been the other way around) and I must say I'm in a much better mood having gone out.

So to summarise... I had a fabulous time in Brisbane and miss the lifestyle up there although it's still not really my city. Am restless, reflective and honestly I think I'm a little angry with myself. Akrasia, what can I say? Do better. Rocks. Anyhow, no point dwelling on that, just have to keep moving forward. Right?

Less disjointed post next time, I promise.

Two months in a nutshell

As seems to be the case far more often than I'd like it to be, I've had good intentions of writing but failed to put those intentions in to practice.

April in Brisbane passed fairly quickly and uneventfully after I worked out how to ring the bell on the bus.

My "silver jubilee" was pleasantly quiet and spent doing grocery shopping, laundry and studying French. Just what I wanted really. A normal day catching up on things that I wouldn't otherwise get done during the week.

I've read far less in the last few weeks than I had when I initially arrived. Big crocheting projects like blankets and jumpers saw me spending much more time in front of the television. I'm still very much in chick flick viewing mode but I am hoping to move into arthouse again some time during the week.

A few weeks ago I was in Melbourne visiting Mum & Dad and it was sooooo good to see them. There was much excitement in the house. I've never seen the dogs run around quite like that when there isn't food involved! It was a short visit as I had to head back to work but I'm glad I went down to see them anyhow.

There's a bit of traveling about coming up next month with hi-jinx in Sydney, and another trip to see my folks before the crazy festival life takes over till mid-August.

I had planned to write more but I'm going to save that for another day when there's more to tell.

April Reading List

April started strong with plenty of reading done in the first few days. Then three and a half seasons of Grey's Anatomy coupled with some serious knitting & crochet proved to be formidable distractions.

1. The Wolf of Wall Street by Jordan Belfort
2. Call Me Elizabeeth by Dawn Annandale
3. Brilliance of the Moon by Lian Hearn
4. The Ages of Lulu by Almudena Grandes
5. The Encyclopedia of Crochet Techniques by Jan Eaton

Not sure how May's going to go... I still have several books I'm catching up on or finishing off but there are already other books catching my fancy and I'm hoping to finish knitting my jumper in the next week or so... Not to mention the French homework & reading I have to add to the list...

Numerical Update

611 days ago I left Brisbane and just 4 days ago I returned.
3 of those 4 days were spent with a fever averaging 38˚C. Yesterday I drank 1.25L of water and 1.15L of flavoured still mineral water. I also slept for 12 hours. I'm feeling much better and the fever is almost gone :)

It took me 1.75 bus rides to work out how to get the bus to stop without actually having to call out to the bus driver (or in the case of my first bus ride, continuing for an extra three stops). Apparently I managed to get the really old buses twice on my first day. All other buses have had the red stop button I'm used to.

I've only been working at the Brisbane Festival for 3 days and today marks 100 days till the festival opens.

While I've been up here I have read one book, gotten lost once and been to the doctor once. I've made an appointment to go back to get my third and final (yay!) Gardasil vaccination.

Since arriving in Brisbane I have received 22 text messages from people I know, one text message from someone I don't know, 12 messages via facebook and many emails of which 2 were personally addressed to me.

I have to be back in the office in 10.5 hours and given that I need at least 45 minutes to wake up, 10-15 minutes to get to the bus stop (which is not that far away but the traffic lights, and the traffic, are a little kooky) and another 20 minutes to get to work, I should probably go to bed now.

For those interested it took me 34 minutes to write all this because I kept getting distracted by a Skype conversation regarding donuts.

March Reading List

Far less falling apart this month, much more normal levels of crazy in my head. Sadly this hasn't translated to the number of books read.

1. A Child's True History of Crime by Chloe Hooper
2. Small Gods by Terry Pratchett (re-read)
3. Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett (partial re-read, started but hadn't previously finished it)
4. Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett (partial re-read, as above)
5. Odd & The Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman
6. The Lonely Planet Guide to Experimental Travel

So who guessed that I'd just finished unpacking my Pratchett collection this month?
I'm interested to note that I've consistently read six books per month for the first quarter of the year. It's not a conscious goal but seems to be my average for times when I'm not spending weeks on end being a book hermit.

Update
Knew I should have kept a running list as I read... I actually made it to 7 books (ten if you want to be accurate but I'm counting Lost Girls by Alan Moore & Melinda Gebbie as one book broken into three volumes.

iLove my new phone

It's shiny, pretty and as womderfully fun to use as I anticipated and then some. Need I say more?

This post was brought to you and typed on my new phone.

Shiny :)

Life Lessons in Scrabble

Today was a very domestic day. Clean-Up-Sarah's-Act Day. Well, clean up my room & bathroom anyhow.

Three loads of laundry (I actually bothered to sort out my clothes into coloured and dark) and I was well on my way. Several boxes of books have been unpacked and others removed from the bookshelf and packed into boxes in a [moving] deckchairs-on-the-Titanic-esque manner. After slipping in the bathroom while mopping the floor and hitting my head on a shelf while dusting I decided to retreat to the safety of the bedroom. After a few hours I was happy to rediscover my floor under the myriad of boxes I headed downstairs for dinner.
THUD
What was that? Mum askes.
I wander upstairs having quipped that it was probably my bookshelf.
Turns out it was my bookshelf.

I may have gotten a little upset. Just a little.

The floor had disappeared under a mound of books that had also dismantled my clothes rack.
Just a little upset.

Three hours later and I had reclaimed the floor, fixed the rack and precariously stacked the books on the chest of drawers. I needed a break from the domesticity.

Clearly a game of Scrabble was in order.

Dad & I had bought Mum the Deluxe Scrabble board for her birthday.

The christening game reminded me of a valuable lesson. Greed is not good. I could have finished the game but decided to hold out by one more move in order to score more points. If I'd put the original word on the board I would have won. Instead Dad took line honours for tonight's game. Ah well, there's always tomorrow. Anyway, I have a floor. I need not for winning Scrabble.

February Reading List

Well, I've been slack with the blogging but life fell apart a little (at least in my head) so I've been taking some time to re-group.

Anyhow, books read in February were:
1. Thud by Terry Pratchett
2. Where's My Cow by Terry Pratchett (re-read)
3. The Black Crusade by Richard Harland
4. Green Eggs & Ham by Dr Seuss (re-read)
5. Shadowfall by James Clemens (re-read)
6. Hinterlands by James Clemens

Not a great deal of reading done and most of it happened on the 28th February but hopefully I'll manage to get a few more in. After all there's a medium box of books that have been waiting patiently for me to read them for almost 2 years now.

Happy Birthday Mum

I'm sitting here wondering what to write for Mum's birthday card. Something that not only expresses how much I love her but how incredibly lucky I feel to be her daughter. The thing is, I don't think that it's quite sunk in that she's in remission and quite possibly going to be okay. Just eight months ago, we were told that her cancer was to be incurable. We were going to have to wait and see if we could prolong her life after 18 months of treatment. I can't speak for Mum or Dad, but for me the last 8 months has passed both quickly and painfully slowly. Having looked into the general statistics for pancreatic cancer patients, the odds weren't looking good. Less than 1% of patients go into long term remission.

So here we are. Full radiological and biological remission.

Amazingly good news and funnily enough I'm still having to tell myself to just breathe.

I started to look at my posts from when we first found out that Mum had pancreatic cancer. Sure that I would find some poignant or inspired words from the time as I never shared those with Mum at the time. Reading posts from the two blogs that I write, I found myself in tears. The emotions are still raw. I suppose I've been spending the last eight months trying to live from day to day and not think, not to feel. I almost lost my Mum last year. If she'd been like many pancreatic patients then she would have most likely passed away around September. I still can't find the words to say how I feel now that the outcome is what we'd been hoping for.

It would seem that I'm still lost for words. So I think, for Mum's birthday, I'm going to say:

Happy Birthday Mum. Thank you for staying positive and fighting against the odds. Thank you for ironing my dress for me before the party even when you were tired because you knew I'd do a terrible job and take twice as long doing so. Thank you for holding me and telling me it was going to be okay when we found out you had cancer and when we found out you were in remission. You truly are an inspiration and you handle what life brings you with grace and poise. I love you. Thank you.

:)

Mum's in remission. There's no cancer left in her body.
Words cannot express how I feel right now.

:)

Dreams

I was up early this morning to drop Dad off at the station. It was nice to be able to return the favour. It was also good to get out of bed at what is a normal hour for most. Particularly as I'll be needing to be up early for work on Thursday.

The sleeping tablet worked a treat and I managed to sleep uninterrupted through the night although I was a little groggy during the day. I've been told that should pass. It was good to sleep although my dreams were fairly vivid and strangely realistic. I seem to recall a need for a new notebook but have no idea why. I figured it must have been part of my dream. What I do remember from my dreams was waking up in my grandparents' living room - where it seems I was sleeping on the floor. I had to start a new job that day and I was looking forward to it. I got dressed and then I realised that I was in the wrong clothes, I couldn't wear jeans and a t-shirt to work. I had to be in corporate attire. The casual workplace was a thing of my past and not real for me anymore. I woke up then. I felt a bit sad after that dream.

I've been thinking a lot about what I'm doing and I love what I do. I always have. I suppose I worry that I'm getting lost at the moment.

Too much time on my hands. Too much thinking.

I wonder what tonight's dreams will bring

Playing Catch Up

Quite a bit has happened since I last wrote and although I've been meaning to write (and have often gotten as far as opening up the "create post" page), I just haven't found the words. I'm feeling a little despondent at the moment. Well, more than a little. Nick mentioned the Korean term Han to me yesterday and I think that combined with an overwhelming sense of ennui would be an apt description of how I'm feeling.

Anyhow. It's been a couple of weeks and since then Mum's come out of hospital and is going for a PET scan today to make sure that there's no cancer left. She has to go to a hospital in Moorabin for the scan.

Moorabin is where I flew a helicopter last Monday. (What a segue way!) Which was amazingly fun and I'd really like to do it again some time. Perhaps when I've stopped working in the crazy profession that I seem to have chosen? Who knows, but I was lucky enough to have a great instructor who took me up to the training airspace and once I was a little less wobbly with the controls he directed me from Carrum back towards Melbourne's CBD along the beach en route to the airport. Many thanks to Lisa & Dave for the opportunity to fly!

Stepping back a week, I finished up work on Summer Fun in the City with Set Sail which was a great three day event where people could book in for free sailing lessons. There's nothing quite as special as seeing a nervous five year old come back from the water all excited because they sailed a small two person boat! We were even lucky enough to try it out after the last group on the Wednesday. A perfect time to be sailing as some of the Sydney to Hobart yachts were still moored down at the Docklands.

A brief trip to Sydney to say hi to Tamsin at the opening night of Carmen and generally get away from Melbourne for a couple of days and I was back to watch the ladies finals of the Australian Open. Good grief it was hot! Good match though and there's nothing quite like the atmosphere in a stadium - or talking to the random people sitting next to you. I really should see more live entertainment...

Our family were down for the weekend and while I had every intention of taking my cousins to check out Australia Day celebrations we settled for Sing Star instead. Did I mention I should see more live entertainment...?

Which brings me back to the week that's just passed. Not much else to report. Had a small operation to remove and replace the implant in my left arm. I'm rather pathetic when it comes to needles and the local anaesthetic hurt more than the scalpel going in (and that was before we had to reapply the anaesthtic which for some reason hadn't taken).

Sunday was Dad's birthday so we had a feast at our place. Roast beef for 11, one baked fish (with lime and ginger), many many roasted veggies, a freshly baked loaf of bread and a sweet potato & green bean salad (with sweet chilli & balsamic vinegar dressing). Dessert was a stack of profiteroles (Dad's new favourite baked good) and a plum & nectarine crumble (made from the fruits from our backyard!). Given the number of profiteroles and cake that I've eaten in the last two days I should really stop writing and go for a VERY long walk.

Besides, it may help me sleep and perhaps think less... which would be nice. :)

End of a Fairytale Season

Today was the last day of the show I've been working on for Summer Fun in the City, Fairy Factor. It was looking pretty grim for our first show of the day as it was raining incessantly until 9:30am when paused long enough for us to set up the show on the stage that's normally used for Twilight Rhythms. I'm glad we did because despite the inclement weather we still had over 100 people show up to brave the weather. Happily for all it didn't rain at all. In fact it cleared up to a bright sunny day with cloudy patches. By the time we finished our second show for the day and final for the season it was quite muggy!

Sadly Mum had to go back to the hospital today as she's been feeling rather under the weather and started to develop a high fever (the only lucid memory she has from this morning is telling Dad she didn't want to go to the hospital). She's doing much better, although she's feeling very fatigued. Her temperature is down which is the important thing. Now we just need to work out where the infection is. Hopefully she'll be home in a few days.

Anyhow it's almost bed time. Just a couple of job applications to write and then early bedtime before an early rising to Set Sail tomorrow!

A Productive-ish Week

It's been a fairly productive week in some ways. I've replaced my lost diary (left it on the plane back from Sydney), baked breakfast muffins which formed my lunch for several days which has been my lunch for the week and finished the first book (Across the Nightingale Floor) in the series I've just started to read.

Work has been good although I've clearly been spoiled by my extended break as the short 6 hour days are still getting the better of my energy levels. I came home to day and slept for a good 4.5 hours even though we finished early due to the rain!

I've been feeling a little more tired lately since my cervical cancer vaccination. Not sure if that's a side effect or if it's all in my head but I'm glad that I've only got one more shot left for the immunisation. While it seemed less painful the second time round my arm still feels bruised. It should be better just in time for me to get my implant replaced... Oh the joys of pressure bandaging.

Tomorrow is the last day of the Fairy Factor which is the great 1hr free kids show I've been working on in the Fitzroy Gardens. It's been a real pleasure watching the kids (even when they rushed the stage). There have been some amazing costumes and more pink fairies than you could poke a stick at. I've made a mental note that if I have a daughter not to dress her in a pink fairy costume, if she's into fairies, as I'd never find her in a fairy show audience. On Monday morning I'll start three days of Set Sail at the Docklands Shed 2. I'm really looking forward to that, I only hope the weather holds up a bit for the duration of the event. There's a possibility that I'll give the flying trapeze a shot next week but we'll see how that goes!

Back in Town

After a relaxing few days in Sydney and a delayed flight I'm back in Melbourne counting down the hours until the cool change sweeps through the state.

Overall I did well, returning with just one addition to my library, Across the Nightingale Floor by Lian Hearn. While the cover and Japanese themes have always grabbed my attention, I'm fascinated by the concept of a nightingale floor. Perhaps I should add that to the list of random things that might be cool to have in a house (I've been watching Grand Designs again).

Having enjoyed a few days off (it only counts as a holiday if I'm elsewhere... while I'm down in Melbourne not working it's more like unemployment or being lazy) I'm ready to tackle the grand task of sorting out my life. I'm currently considering treating that as a job in itself. It's the control freak in me really.

Anyhow, tomorrow I'm going to start my lists afresh. Set new deadlines for various bits of paperwork and generally spring clean my life and get rid of as much clutter as possible. We'll see how long the enthusiasm holds... hopefully long enough to spark the next challenge!

It's good to be back at work though, even if it's not the challenge I'm seeking, at least there's some structure to my day to keep me from languishing in the comfort zone that is Melbourne.

Three Weddings and a Park

I spent most of the day sitting in Hyde Park enjoying the sunshine and drizzle with equal pleasure. I was just grateful to have escaped the heat of Melbourne. Sadly cooler weather brings mosquitoes so I ventured into the city in search of some insect repellent and something to make the stinging go away. This just adds to the recent trend of buying practical yet contextually strange things on my outings. I bought a pair of rigging gloves on the recent beach trip.

Armed with the spray I managed to read half of Signal to Noise before the start of my shift. I ended up working on the Weddings at the Macquarie Street stage. I think they went well, but I only saw the third wedding as I spent much of the evening waiting for deliveries up the road. It was a beautiful if brief ceremony (each of the three weddings went for approximately 20 minutes) and the three couples looked happy despite the inclement weather. It was great to bump into people who I knew who were working on the festival too.

After work I caught up with Tamsin after a small delay (who'd have thought that there would be two polar cone vans in the same intersection?) and we roamed Hyde Park in search of a bar. Spiegeltent was closed for a private function so our plan had been somewhat foiled. We failed to find a bar in Hyde Park although we were sure that there was one nearby... after all it was opening night of the Festival! We trekked to Martin Place before deciding to head back to Tam's to drop off my bags and find a bar at nearby Oxford Street.

We ended up with G&Ts in hand noting that at the bar we'd stopped at people seemed to be segregated into all male or all female groups of varying sizes. There were also enough candles arranged on a shelf to inspire a funeral-esque atmosphere so we decided to move on. Not managing to find anywhere else that caught our fancy we headed back towards her apartment to make a final stop a the Irish pub which turned out to be closed. The universe seemed to be telling us it was time for bed.

This morning we got up, lazed about and then headed to a lovely little bookshop & cafe for breakfast and departed caffeinated, fast broken and armed with a book. Secondhand bookstores are a dangerous place. Throw in food and drinks and I may never leave!

I've finished reading one of the books I've brought up with me and have enjoyed an afternoon relaxing in the cool but wonderfully fine weather that seems to be gracing the city. It feels good to be somewhere different even if it still feels the same.

Shelter

I arrived, bleary-eyed in Sydney just after 09:00. After spending a good hour having breakfast at the airport and wondering how exactly to pass the five hours left until I start work tonight I decided to head into town. I figured that I could find a relatively sheltered park and sit there for a few hours with a book for company. As is often the case, the sun was shining and continued to do so long enough to convince me that the chance of rain might actually stay just that.

So right now I'm sheltering in Starbucks drinking an extra large coffee to make up for the hours of sleep I flitted away last night. Ever the optimist when it comes to the weather. Coming from Melbourne I should know better...

Late Night Packing

I'm leaving for Sydney in less than 5 hours, so I figured it was about time to pack. I keep telling myself on the bright side, I started to consider my packing list at the start of the week...

With nothing left to pack but my laptop I really should just bundle it into the bag and get some shut eye. Instead I'm sitting here tapping away. It's largely because I've actually gotten out of the house a bit in the last couple of days.

A trip with some friends to a rather cool beach for a brisk swim, via a winery with a dog named Bingo, capped off with an evening at Moonlight Cinema yesterday added to what has already been a fairly pleasant start to the year. Couple that with falling asleep before 02:00 yesterday and I'm doing rather better than I expected.

Today was good for other reasons. Another load of laundry done means I'm 70% on the way to a tidy room, with the remaining 30% more to do with finding storage (or even better getting rid of stuff). I've also got a few more days work lined up for early February which is great. Still many emails to write but at least there's something to look forward to!

Anyhow, I really must close my eyes as I'm exhausted. A day of domesticity combined with the Grand Designs marathon have rather taken it out of me...

A Quiet Start to the New Year

Three days into the New Year and I'm desperately clinging to my resolution for a better 2008. My weeks of scattered work are all culminating with an incredible impatience for my next contract. My mind is going a little spare without work. After all, she's my mistress.

New Year's Eve was one of the less painful of the 24 that I've experienced, although I can hardly count the earlier years as difficult as I was blissfully not thinking much at that point. I was lucky enough to spend brief amounts of time with quite a few friends, I'm sorry to say, achieving more quantity than quality in terms of time spent compared with number of friends seen. Still it was wonderful to see the Monash kids, who I seem to see annually, as well as a few of the Ceremonies crew. It was the first NYE that I've actually gone into the Melbourne CBD (or any city's CBD for that matter) to watch the fireworks. They were pretty and shiny as fireworks are want to be. There was champagne, singing and the odd reveler throwing sparklers from their balcony to mark yet another year passing.

The city was a ghost town the next day until mid-afternoon. Apparently I was up a little "early" for the New Year. I followed up my social evening with more social catch ups before I inevitably disappear from the social scene and drown myself in work. Well, that's sort of the plan any how...

When I finally made it home last night I curled up in bed and read for awhile before falling asleep at a far more respectable 00:30. This allowed me to wake up, for the first time in weeks, in the morning! So I spent much of that time in bed anyway, finishing Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. I liked it a lot although it did make me feel a little sad.

One load of laundry later and I feel like the day has been reasonably productive!

Now, I'm waiting for the birds to start their morning song, triggering that part of my brain that allows me to fall asleep. Not long now...

Books Read in January 2008

January
1. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
2. Blind Lake by Robert Charles Wilson
3. Signal to Noise by Dave McKean & Neil Gaiman
4. Across the Nightingale Floor by Lian Hearn
5. Grass for his Pillow by Lian Hearn
6. One Red Paperclip by Kyle MacDonald